In Pakistan, the role of traditional matchmakers, known as rishta aunties, has long been essential in guiding families and preparing young women for marriage. However, with the rise of marriage apps that market themselves as halal—permissible in Islam—women are increasingly finding new ways to search for a life partner.

For women like Ezza Nawaz, a textile designer from Lahore, these apps present an alternative to the age-old tradition of using rishta aunties. Years of leading unsuccessful customary match-making efforts had her trying the application when she had seen her colleague happily married to someone met through the same application.

"When I saw my colleague happy after being married to someone she met online... I thought, since we have tried rishta aunties for four or five years, let's try this too," Ezza said to AFP

Ezza’s story had an impeccable happy ending. When Ezza was matched on Muzz, a Muslim matrimonial app, with Waseem Akhtar, she had first seen her prospective groom just three months ago. What varies from the typical approaches, where the families of the groom and bride are called in right from day one, is that they saw each other on a few dates and approached their families only when they felt ready.

For a country where dating is generally not considered an honorable practice, rishta aunties are of great help to families seeking a suitable match for their daughters. More than 80 percent of marriages, according to a Gallup and Gilani Pakistan survey, are still arranged. These matchmakers help polish up young women to meet potential in-laws, often based on how they look and present themselves.

But this outdated system has its share of frustration in some circles. Rida Fatima, a young woman seeking a match, found the process demeaning. "I was asked not to tell the guy's family that my hobbies are hiking or photography, but are cooking and cleaning... it made me angry," she shared. She eventually found love outside of the arranged marriage system.

"No matter how the guy looks, even if he is bald or has a big belly, he wants a wife who looks like a model," said Muskan Ali, the managing director at a marriage consultancy in Karachi.

As marriage applications gain popularity, more than 1.2 million Pakistanis have registered since Muzz launched last year. The app claims to have led to 15,000 marriages, offering women an alternative route to matrimony that aligns with cultural expectations. Some apps even offer a “chaperone” feature, allowing families to monitor conversations, ensuring that the process remains respectful. 

Despite this, the app has raised many eyebrows in Pakistan. Many remain skeptical that these apps are dating platforms in disguise like Tinder, which has been banned in the country. "I do not tell people how I met my wife until I am sure that the person would not judge us," Waseem said.

 

Tradition vs. Modernity

 

While marriage apps offer a new way forward, traditional matchmakers like Fauzia Aazam, who leads a community of rishta aunties in Rawalpindi, still hold sway. Fauzia dismisses marriage apps, stating, "People waste time on these apps. Chatting together all through the night, I just don't like it."

However, the popularity of these apps suggests a shift in attitudes. For women like Aneela, a digital media artist, marriage apps offered a way to avoid being judged by a matchmaker. But she quickly discovered a new set of challenges, such as dishonesty from men.

"It is hard being on an app... men lie," she said, swiping through her profile at a cafe in Islamabad.

In the end, she expressed doubts, saying, "The only option left is to go for an arranged marriage instead."

 

The future of matchmaking in Pakistan

 

As marriage apps continue to grow, traditional matchmakers are adapting by digitalizing their businesses. But for feminist author Aisha Sarwari, the debate goes deeper. She believes the traditional matchmaking process is about controlling women and urges for a balance where respect is mutual.

"We need to find a good middle ground, where the respect is equal on both sides, and there is no sense of demeaning a human being just because they look a certain way or they are from a particular race," Sarwari said.

This clash of a modern marriage approach and a traditional one in Pakistan presents a development of culture, one by which technology is opening new doors for women yet preserving the customs that remain important for many.