Japan redefining relationships through friendship marriages

In a changing world where relationships come in all shapes and forms, there is a new trend emerging in Japan called “friendship marriage.” This unique marital union, devoid of traditional romantic love or sexual intimacy, is gaining popularity among individuals who are looking for alternatives to traditional marriage based on romantic love and sexual attraction. Instead, in friendship marriage, couples prioritize shared interests and values, forming a bond of lifelong friendship rather than a romantic partner.

Friendship marriage is crucially a cohabitating relationship where couples consider themselves legal spouses but don’t engage in romantic or sexual activities. Instead, they focus on companionship, mutual support, and enjoying shared activities together. Some may choose to stay together, while others may maintain separate residences. If they decide to have children, they might opt for artificial insemination.

This alternate approach to marriage entices a diverse range of individuals. For example, asexual people, who do not experience sexual attraction, find friendship marriage appealing because it allows them to form deep connections without the pressure for physical intimacy. Similarly, homosexual couples in Japan, where same-sex marriage is not legally recognized, see friendship marriage as a practical way to formalize their relationships.

Even heterosexual individuals who are disappointed with traditional marriage norms are adopting this trend. They appreciate the companionship and stability offered by friendship marriage without feeling constrained by societal expectations of romantic love and sexual desire. In friendship marriage, couples typically spend time discussing and agreeing on various aspects of their daily lives, such as household chores, finances, and even how they will organize their refrigerator space. While these conversations may seem mundane, they play a crucial role in ensuring the success and happiness of the relationship. About 80% of couples report satisfaction with their arrangement, with some even starting families, according to data from Colorus, an agency specializing in friendship and marriage.

Those interested in friendship marriage are often around 32.5 years old, financially stable, and highly educated. While many still view marriage as a life goal, they are seeking alternatives to traditional marital dynamics. This is reflected in the spike in number of married couples in Japan who report no sexual activity. Friendship marriage offers several advantages beyond personal satisfaction. In Japan, being married comes with tax benefits, and for single women, it may make it easier to have children. As a result, more than 70% of couples in friendship marriages cite the desire to start a family as a motivating factor.

This trend is not unique to Japan. Globally, young people are exploring various relationship models beyond traditional marriage. For example, in Singapore, two childhood friends have chosen to become life partners and live together without a sexual relationship. In China, there is a growing trend of young adults cohabitating with close friends, adopting a “more than friends, less than lovers” approach.

While friendship marriage may not be suitable for everyone, it challenges societal norms and offers a viable option for those seeking companionship and stability without traditional romantic expectations. As attitudes toward marriage continue to evolve, friendship marriage represents a significant shift in how we perceive and engage in intimate relationships.